Access Denied & I Hate Nlabyby

There's one thing true about me, and that is this.  If I'm not busy selling goods on eBay, I'm most likely making capricious buys, splurging on bits and bobs, and pretending that I'm some princess in need of self-pampering.  I'm a highly competitive person.  And.  I love shopping (who doesn't?).  Combine the excitement of heart-pounding auction madness with the thrill of a good bargain, and you have eBay.  The perfect marketplace.

I started selling on eBay 5 years ago right after Alison was born and when money was especially tight.  I started out small by selling knick knacks from around the house (i.e. samples from Clinique's Bonus Days (yes, people actually bought those), clothes, college books, etc).   Due to brisk sales, my confidence rose, and I started selling BIG.   That first year of selling I sold two couches, an arm chair, our butcher block dining room table, our refrigerator.  Heck!  I even sold our CAR (for $750 more than the price suggested in our handy Kelly Blue Book).  I made a pretty hefty return, and as a result we were able to buy more furniture and our beautiful armoire.

Now where was I?  Oh yeah.  It seems that as of late I've been stricken with eBay fever again, and I'm trolling auctions, looking for things to buy.  Just yesterday, in fact, I found a grand auction.  Just so you can see why I got so excited, here is what the  tagline said:

"300 + Vintage Greeting Cards from 1950s"

It was 11 a.m., and I clicked on the auction page.  I watched as hundreds of gorgeous cards danced on my screen, and I scrolled down to the nitty gritty: 

Current Bid:  $36.75
Auction End Time:  11:35 a.m.

Oh sweet Jesus I had found a bargain!  The seller had stellar marks.  The shipping costs were decent.  And better yet, no one had bid on this auction for three days.  THREE DAYS.  Oh I was in heaven.  This baby was mine.

There was one glitch though. Um, I was at work.

And WORK + EBAY = recipe for disaster.

I decided to risk getting caught, and opened up a spreadsheet on my Mac.  This was my decoy page,  I decided.  I would use it to mask the auction page, and for the next 33 minutes I toggled between eBay and this (blank) spreadsheet.  Everytime someone walked into my office I simply clicked on the spreadsheet (cleverly titled, "Wednesday") and voilá!  Instant worker bee.

So it was down to the wire.  11:29 a.m.  Three minutes before my sniper action was to start. 

11:33 a.m. I typed in my bid:  $41.50

You've been outbid!

I typed in another bid:  $52.75

You've been outbid!

Sweat was starting to form on my upper lip, and I frantically refreshed my browser.  I now had 2 minutes and 14 seconds.  I knew I could only get a few more bids in, and if I weren't proclaimed the High Bidder by then, I'd be doomed. 

And then, as if on cue, Birdie lurks up to my desk.

Birdie:  "Wha wha wha wha wha wha whaa.  Whaa whaaaa wha?" *
Me:  "Oh yeah, uh huh....." (I toggle to my spreadsheet)
Birdie:  "Wha wha whaa.  Whaaaa wha wha whaaa!"  (Ha ha ha!)
Me:  (I chuckle nervously) "Sure, um, yeah, uh...brpple" (I turn my screen and frantically refresh browser)
Birdie:  "Wha?"
Me:  Jesus H. Christ lady, what do you want?  "Um, nevermind...."

Birdie shuffles away.  Refresh browser.  I now have < 1 min left. 

Me:  Oh Christ, thanks A LOT lady.

I type in another bid, and my hand slips:  $637.5

Me:  Oh lord have mercy!!!!!

In a frenzy, I click on my back arrow to prevent a potential wallet-breaking act, and I get THIS on my screen.

Me:  "Oh, nooo.  No way!"
Birdie:  "Wa?  Whaa whaaaa wha wha?"
Me:  (exasperated) "NOTHING!"  Sheesh, she's annoying

I manage to get back to the auction page, and I type in *gulp* my last bid:  $76.00

You've Been Outbid!  Nlabyby is the winner of auction # 4258822882.  Winning Bid:  $77.00

Birdie runs up to my desk.   I toggle to "Wednesday" just in time.

Birdie:  "Do you want some pepperchinis?"

*  The actual content of this conversation is so mundane, it's not even worth reading.  So humor me by reading this in the voice of Charlie Brown's teacher.

Comments

[justJENN]

ha ha, decoy page. I've done that too. damn. 300 cards - what a bargain. stupid coworkers.

[thesoulofhope]

Hehe, I kinda cheat, I use auction sniper (www.auctionsniper.com) so I do not drive the price up and get a last minute bid in for the highest amount I am willing to pay. Actaully I signed up for it when I went on vacation a while back, so I could bid on something when I was not sure I would be near a computer.

What is your eBay name? I would hate to get in a bidding war with you!

[ani]

Heh your a screen hider too! Sorry you were outbid. Hate that!

[Allspice4]

You made me laugh. Because you and I work for the same "entity", I have seen the access denied cop many a time. He is almost a joke at work. In the same way men do the Heismann trophy pose, if you make a naughty remark in my office the ladies do the "access denied" policeman with whistle pose. Maybe before your next auction, I'll give Birdie a call and clue her in about the pose.......tee hee

[Giao]

Aack! Birdie strikes again! How utterly annoying!!

And super bummer on the eBay loss. I totally get that frenzy at the end too. =(

[tracy]

Oh man!! I've been missing that ole birdy! What a pain in the arse! Okay, now, to make you feel better, as the queen of ebay, I have a little word of advice...If you found it there once....there's a high chance you'll find it again...no matter what, no matter the price. Just start searching for those cards!
oxox, tracy

[Enid]

Wow, what a raw deal. Sorry that you missed out on the cards.

[hannah]

leslie that totally sucks about the cards! stupid nlabyby... i got outbid last week for a vintage pattern for a little pants jumper for my daughter. doesnt the winner know how cute collette would have looked in that suit??? what is funny is that i have my decoy page ready to flip right now in case someone comes by! glad im not the only sneak...

[Kathleen]

I nearly fell off my chair when I saw you typed in 637.5 by accident...Phew!
I use auction sniper too, especially when I'm really dying to have something. Ebay is so darn addictive. I used to sell jewlery there and did so well. Some of the same things I have in the shop would sell for 4x as much. But it always ended up I would get browsing on there and spend the money faster than I could actually make it. I have no willpower!

[alexis]

What a funny story! I hate it when works gets in the way of truly important stuff like eBay and blogging! I do love the thrill of the last minute bidding wars. When you finally win, it's like "Ha! Take that!"

Sorry you didn't get the cards though. :(

[shelagh]

There are a lot of eBay stories out there just like yours! lol
I have posted my lovely Gifty from Jes. My camera has been on the blink for a while now and it has finally been fixed!

[Anne]

hahaha. I was actually thinking, "Was she really asking you 'What what what...?'" -- until I saw your last line.

[violetismycolor]

I have bought on Ebay (antique postcards, mostly) but never sold...is it hard to do? And how did you ship that refrigerator?

[Amanda]

LMAO! That is the funniest thing about you typing in the wrong amount. I would be sweating too. Sorry you didn't win the bid. Oh btw newbie on board. It is nice to meet ya!

[Leslie]

Hope -- thanks for the sniper tip -- I'll have to try that out the next time! :)
Tracy -- I've already found another auction. Not as fab, but good nonetheless.
Violet -- When selling large items (i.e. the furniture and fridge I sold to SoCal buyers only. I also stipulated that they would have to pick up the items themselves). As for the car, well we had to deliver it...b/c the driver didn't have a car! :)

[Rach]

Very Entertaining!!
I swap screens like that too! =) When we all get fired for that we'll just open an ebay friendly company together.