What Not to Say to 8th Graders

This being my 9th year teaching, I have learned to avoid saying certain words and phrases in class to avoid student mayhem. No matter how innocuous a word may be, 8th graders have the uncanny ability to misconstrue the meaning of a word. Any word. Of course, everything tends to have sexual innuendo and/or they just cause fits of laughter in class.

Below are ordinary, innocent sentences that I may say at any given moment. The underlined word is that which makes any class a comedy club.

1. "What events lead up to the climax of our story?"
2. "Kids, today you're going to eat chicken breast patties on a wheat bun for lunch."
3. "Near the Andes Mountains lies Lake Titicaca....."
4. "Class, please turn your books to page 69..."
5. [While reading a novel] "Sarah felt so gay that her dad was coming to town."
6. "Ow! My back just cracked when I bent over to pick up my pencil!"
7. "Please don't interrupt class. Put your cell phones on vibrate."
8. "Tomorrow the nurse is going to check all 7th grade girls for scoliosis."
9. "The building was erected in 1954."
10. [While reading a class novel] "Ann packed up enough clothing to last 4 days, including her new bra."
11."Who knows if there are any rings around uranus?"
12. [On the school P.A. system] "Will all Special Ed. teachers please report to room 13 for a brief meeting after school?"
13. [While studying homophones] "The pre-fix 'homo' is Latin for 'same'....let's think of words we already know that start with this prefix....homogeneous....."

Oh, now I am just cracking myself up. I am sure that I will think of more as the year goes on!

Comments

[Joyce]

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But there's money in publishing.....
Joyce

[Lark]

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