Chaperone Fun

Today I chaperoned 78 7th and 8th graders on a field trip to USC. Our goal was to expose our kids to campus life and an academic environment; it’s funny how sometimes reality fails to rise to our expectations.

As our guide was leading us through our tour, she managed to eke out a few tidbits of useful knowledge for the students. Just imagine a bus load of eager, inner city kids swarmed around our guide (a cute, albeit hungover, college senior).

10:15 a.m.
Guide: “So here at USC, we used to be called ‘The Fighting Methodists’ that is until --”

Random Student: “--omigod a BEE!!!”
(mass chaos as students scatter in all directions)

Guide: “....um that is until we beat Stanford......”

R.S. #2: “It’s on Angel’s arm!”
(more scattering and screaming....students swatting at Angel’s arm)

10:25 a.m. (calmness restored)
Guide: “...to your right you’ll see our bookstore. Can anyone guess how many floors....”

(as if on cue, a male midget is seen walking up the steps to the bookstore)

Students: “.....oh my God!!!!”
“Lookit that guy....”
“...like on Jackass....”
“....so small....”
“....ha ha ha.....”

The tour pretty much continued with kids distracted by the every day happenings of campus life. A few additional highlights, however, must be noted. In order of appearance, my students were able to catch a glimpse of the following:

• Minnie Mouse on a cruiser
• a statue of a naked man (spread eagle and full unit in tact)
• a student dressed as a school girl complete with ultra mini skirt (which happened to lift in the wind, revealing her red skivvies)
• an apparently drunk frat brother rolling around on the grass

So all in all, I think the fieldtrip was successful. Don’t you?