Death by Appreciation

THANK YOU! Thank you for the posted comments and e-mails regarding the new-teacher-swiping-my-stuff incident. As I mentioned in the comments, I was told by some that I was "overreacting" to the situation so it was quite refreshing to hear that most of you would feel irked by the situation too.

Also, I'd like to explain why I would do something so counterintuitive as to BUY THE THIEF GIRL A GIFT! I know, sounds irrational, I know. First let me first acknowledge that I am a nice girl, yes. But I'm not a nice girl of the door mat variety, mind you. I will loudly express my discontent if need be. Just ask my husband. He's witnessed me yell like a trucker to idiot drivers. But I digress.

I think mostly this is cultural. Growing up, it was ingrained in my mind that if someone does something nice for you, you show your appreciation by reciprocation. Case in point: Someone brings over homecooked food in say, a pyrex dish. Upon returning the dish, I was taught, one should fill it with equally scrumptious delicacies (I know, this sounds a bit extreme. I've never actually done this myself, but my mother does religiously). Thank you cards were the norm at my house; in fact, I think a bit too much. Like let's say uncle gives you $100 for your birthday. You had better write that darn thank you card and have it sent asap or else! Yes, gratitude is of utmost importance in my family. Avoid the SHUNNING! Write that thank you card!

Upon graduating from college, and especially when I got married, family and family friends bestowed upon Hank and me, monetary gifts galore. And when other friends and family members wed or graduated, my parents reciprocated in like. It's similar to "It takes a village" concept. Everyone chips in to help out. I think it's a Hawaii thing, am I right Little Things? Or JustJenn? Sometimes I get caught up in the obligation of it all, and I must say it's a hard habit to break.

Anyway, I have yet to give Thief Teacher her $4.00 pen from Target. I don't know if I will. But I do know, that I wrote her a note (since I am off on Thursdays), letting her know just how I felt about the situation. Hopefully this will clear the air. Hmmmm, I think I just may keep that pen after all.

Comments

[Giao]

I know nothing about Hawaiian culture, but I can see it's kind of part of Vietnamese culture too, so maybe on a broader level it's an Asian cultural thing? I say keep the pen. =)

[ani]

I am Armenian and I know those values were too instilled in my family. I don't know if its more of a cultural thing or more of a good mannered thing and that coworker of yours totally forgot hers or just never had any to begin with. Good luck!

[little things]

I had to laugh when I read your post because my mom has been pestering me for the list of gifts given to us at our recent wedding. She wants to make sure she has it readily available so that when one of my relatives gets married she can reciprocate in the same manner. I remember on Christmas or birthdays, not being able to play with any of my gifts or spend any of the monetary gifts until a thank you card was written and sent!

[justjenn]

Hard Habit to Break was a good 80's song. Ha.

I don't know if it's a cultural thing, my family NEVER sends me thank yous - but the funny thing is - I was just going to post this - I ALWAYS send thank yous. religiously.

As for weddings - I always saw it as a loan. So and so gave me $100 when we got married 4 years ago - now he's getting married - so now he's getting it back!!!

[Charla]

And to think, I always thought it was a "southern thing."

About that teacher moving your stuff out "for you," I would have been LIVID! It's just not something that is done. It was your stuff, and she was very much in the wrong for packing it up, muchless trying to keep some of it! I've had to move classrooms several times, and yes, it was a hassle waiting for the other teacher, but I wasn't about to move it for them. Bless you for being much kinder that I!

I am so happy for you and your new job! It sounds great! (am I using enough !!!!! today? haha)