Dorky Driver

This morning I grabbed my purse and dashed out of the house. Out of habit, I threw on my sunglasses and started my morning drive to work. Turning up the radio, I heard the d.j. announce, "Goooood mornin' L.A.! Are you enjoying the sunny skies? The heat's........."

Sunny skies? It's really misty over here, Mr. D.J.

Feeling somewhat spirited, I stopped by the drive-through donut shop to pick up a baker's dozen for the faculty at work. I greeted the donut woman, and she took a double glance at me.

"Are you hiding red eyes today, Miss?"

"What?"

"I mean, are you hiding tired eyes?" she repeated while motioning to my sunglasses.

What the hell is she talking about?

Grabbing my change, I cranked up the music and sped off to work. I sang all the way. Today was the day to be chipper. Since I had such a crappy day yesterday, I was intent to fulfill my C.Q. (chipper quota) today.

Yes! Today was a grand day! A fresh start!

On campus, I unloaded my car, waved to several students. Some waved back; others pointed at me and whispered to each other. Then they giggled.

Heh heh. Silly kids. They probably think I brought these donuts for them. Himpf. Let them think that. I'm too busy being CHIPPER.

After handing out the donuts to gracious co-workers, I headed back to my classroom for final preparations for the day. Entering the class, my eyes quickly scanned the room for signs of preparation. Warm-ups xeroxed? CHECK. Chalkboard erased? CHECK. Agenda in order? CHECK. Hair intact? CH..CH...OH.MY.GOD!

My mirror told no lies. No, there was nothing wrong with my hair. My sunglasses were the problem. I mean, Alison's sunglasses were the problem. All morning I had been wearing her TOY sunglasses!!!!
"Oh JESUS H. CHRIST! What kind of joke are you playing on me?" I said to the sky
I was just trying to be CHIPPER.
"Those damn glasses were FILTHY with fingerprints!"
Lord, I even sang all the way to work today. Doesn't that count?
"And the glasses! The glasses were CROOKED and BENT!"
Lord weren't you watchng? I bought donuts for the staff.
"And the damn things were HUGE! For God's sake! They didn't even FIT!"
And I was wearing them! I WAS WEARING THEM. AND PEOPLE SAW ME.

Oh Lord, please don't let this be another crappy day. Please.

Comments

[Lora]

Sorry to laugh, but I can relate! there's nothing like going up to a cash register and pulling out a pair of dirty little socks, a stuffed monkey and a half eaten apple, but no wallet! Hope your weekend gets better! :)

[Lora]

Sorry to laugh, but I can relate! there's nothing like going up to a cash register and pulling out a pair of dirty little socks, a stuffed monkey and a half eaten apple, but no wallet! Hope your weekend gets better! :)

[Megan]

You must post a picture of the sunglasses. Post it immediately!

[Giao]

Oh my! The best intentions always get waylaid by spritely mischief somewhere in the universe. I love this story. I hope it didn't put too much of a damper on your day to be chipper.

[little things]

You are too silly! Sounds like something I would do!